Familiarity Breeds Familiarity

28 10 2007

Being back at home, I’m finding that my practice is headed back to it’s old patterns. That is, it’s hit and miss. It’s not that I don’t want to practice. It’s that I want to do that and a number of other things too plus there’s a bunch of things that I’m required to do. So mediation, study, yoga, these things tend to get pushed aside. I need to force myself into a regimen to make sure that I stay the course but it needs to be a regimen that isn’t so stiff that I push back.

So, I started the day with a small meal, a short meditation session, thirty minutes worth of yoga, then sat down and listened to a dharma talk at Audio Dharma by Gil Fronsdal. Things were going well until the dharma talk. Shortly after I started listening to that, my mind began to wander. I had to keep rewinding to catch pieces I just listened to. I definitely did not get the most out of it. I’ll try listening to it again tomorrow during lunch. I imagine I’ll need it by then.

Afterwards, I decided to start on work around the house. In the past, I’ve always had a strong distaste for this kind of work. I do it but I hate it. What a lovely way to spend my time off. Of course, I’ve read the many things written about treating your work as part of your meditation practice. I always got a good chuckle out of that. I mean, it’s pretty hard to view work as meditation when you’re swearing under your breath the whole time. My work today – laundry and yard work – was different, though. It felt very much like meditation.

To my amusement, I found myself singing a song while I was working. The song was taught to us prior to one of His Holiness’ sessions last week. The song was in both Tibetan and Sanskrit and I’m sure I was mangling the words badly but it’s the thought that counts, right?

Once my work was done, I realized that a number of the people I know realized I was home and the phone calls and emails started coming in. People wanted things. They always do. That was part of what was wearing on me so heavily before I left but I certainly can’t expect that to go away. It’s part of what I need to learn to accept and deal with.

I think I did OK with that though. No swearing or grunting. No pacing. I didn’t do that thing with my hand and my face. So, yeah. That went well.