A Second Look at Compassion

And then there’s the polar opposite of people who don’t deserve compassion.

Back in October, approximately 300 workers in Ashland, Ohio lost their jobs when the Archway cookie factory closed their doors. No jobs. No insurance. Boom.

The point could be made that Archway had no choice. They were toast and they knew it and they couldn’t afford to continue to pay these people. Actually, it wasn’t “Archway” so much as Catterton partners, the private-equity firm that bought Archway in 2005. According to Catterton Partners’ own web site:

With the closing of Catterton Partners’ sixth fund, we have over $2.0 billion of equity capital under active management, making Catterton one of the largest private equity firms in the United States focused on the consumer industry.

Gives you that big, warm, It’s A Wonderful Life kind of feeling, doesn’t it?

Anyway, Catterton put Archway up on the auction block where it was purchased by Lance Inc. a North Carolina company that manufactures and markets snack foods. Lance Inc. not only re-opened the plant and gave all the workers their jobs back but gave each employee a $1,500 prepaid debit card. This simple act provided the employees with not just a job and some security but some hope not only for the holiday season, but, potentially, for the kindness of others.

The CEO of Lance Inc., David Singer, has been quoted as saying that the gift cards were their way of showing that they were different than Catterton. From CNN’s coverage of this story:

“We wouldn’t do it willy-nilly,” Singer says. “We do want to make money. But this is the pool of folks that we intend to hire. We just wanted to let them know who we were.”

Lance Inc. intends to have the plant rolling out five separate lines of cookies by the end of the year and is hoping to be able to add jobs over the next year.

People toss the idea of boycotts around all the time. Firm X’s CXO makes a disparaging remark about group Y and boycotts are called for. You rarely hear of anybody asking people to specifically patronize a particular business because they did something good. But shouldn’t Lance Inc. be lauded for this simple act? Reopening the plant and returning these people to work would have been enough. The debit cards? This is the kind of thing that goes beyond what should be done and steps into true kindness and compassion.

I’d like to suggest that everyone patronize Lance inc. whenever possible. Lance Inc. sells to Target and Wal-Mart. You can also purchase items directly from their web site.

I’ve always felt that using old, foreign expressions to make a simple statement is pretentious at best. This time, though, if you know the expression and what it means, it fits.

Namaste, Lance Inc.

And maybe, in this bleakest of holiday seasons, it goes for everyone. Even those that don’t deserve compassion.

Namaste.

No Compassion For You!!

I first took the five precepts in October of last year. I attended no official ceremony, I took them quietly and to myself while attending the Dalai Lama’s talk on “Atisha’s Lamp for the Path to Enlightenment”.

The fact that my vows were not officially recognized by anyone does not lessen those vows for me. As far as I’m concerned, I’m still a Buddhist even though no one has told me so. However, if a group of people wanted to tell me that I was not really a Buddhist because they didn’t recognize me as such, I think I’d have a problem with that.

Last month in California, a large number of religious fanatics (many of whom were not from California) convinced their followers, along with a number of other general bigots, to pass a measure banning same-sex marriages, after the state Supreme Court had already ruled them constitutional. In other words, a group of people told the state that it was not allowed to allow people of the same sex to be married. Now, these same bigoted fanatics want to tell people who have already been married under the law that they may no longer consider themselves married.

I’m not gay and am married to a wonderful person of the opposite sex. Not only do I not think that two people should only be allowed to marry if they are straight, I think it’s wrong for anyone else to tell people who they can and can’t marry. Why? Because who someone else marries is none of anyone else’s business.

No, it does not matter whether or not your religion says it’s wrong for two people of the same sex to marry. Not one bit. Why? Because your religion does not govern this country. NOBODY’S religion governs this country.

Let’s suppose for the sake of this argument forced on us by fanatical bigots that a god – let’s choose the Christian version of god – both exists and says that people of the same sex should not be allowed to marry. That has absolutely nothing to do with the same-sex marriages that California and a few other states have allowed. None of these states are saying that Christian wedding ceremonies, Muslim wedding ceremonies, Jewish wedding ceremonies or any other particular religion’s wedding ceremonies have to be open to homosexuals. The states are allowing civil ceremonies to be open – not just to heterosexuals or homosexuals or any one particular group but to everyone. That is something that a state has the right to do, regardless of how particular religious groups or even all religious groups feel about it.

I’m going to say this as clearly as possible: Nobody’s version of god has jurisdiction over civil wedding ceremonies.

Of course, I try to make this blog about my particular journey through Buddhism, as opposed to my general soapbox about everything. So here’s where my issues in Buddhism come up.

In Buddhism, we are taught to have compassion for everyone. That the “wrong” actions of people are guided by their ignorance and are part of the suffering we all endure. This is one of the few points where I have to differ from the Buddha’s teachings. I’m just going to say it so I’m asking my fellow Buddhists to prepare and – frankly – chill the fuck out.

I just don’t believe that all people deserve compassion. As a matter of fact, I believe that some people not getting compassion is simply the karma they have created for themselves by their actions.

Sure, I could say “yes, of course, compassion – I have complete compassion for people who want to force others to live life their way. I have absolute compassion for the Chinese government even though their treatment of the people of Tibet amounts to genocide. I have complete compassion for parents who kill their own children. I have total and unrelenting passion for politicians who put their constituents in harm’s way in the name of money.”

Hell, I could just pretend that I believe that Jesus is the son of God sent to earth to save us from sin. Or I could pretend that I believe that martyring myself in Allah’s name will get me 72 virgins when I arrive in paradise. Or I could pretend that I believe that eating Pop Rocks and drinking Coke at the same time will make my stomach explode. But I don’t pretend any of those thins. Why? Because they very simply don’t make any sense.

And that’s where I stand with compassion for people who make specific efforts to hurt other people. Do I hope they stop? Yes. Do I hope they change from persecutors to helpers – maybe even Bodhisattvas? You bet. Do I have compassion for them? I gotta say, not so much.

So what have I learned?

I’ve learned that as much as I have found the Buddha’s teaching to be helpful with my life, some things just don’t fly for me. (Someday I’ll tell you how I feel about reincarnation.) But I don’t feel that it is wrong for me to feel the way I do or even to question those teachings. In fact, I believe that questioning the Buddha’s teachings is exactly what I’m supposed to do. The Buddha himself said that we should not just believe him because he said so. That we should examine everything for ourselves. That’s what I’m doing here.

And so I continue to meditate. Sometimes to find answers but mostly just to calm the mind. To let my lack of compassion downshift to a dull roar.

Hatred v. Concern

Strangely, the day after the election is more trying than any of the previous days.

Here in the Fourth Circle of Hell, John McCain beat Barack Obama 57% to 41%. People here are truly shocked that the rest of the nation didn’t vote along with them. Asking these people what the problem is, I’ve heard that President Obama:

• “is going to turn America into a Communist country”
• “took money from a foreign dictator”
• “is a terrorist”

and my personal favorite

• “is the Antichrist”

This isn’t anything I haven’t heard before. I’d heard it all through the elections but that was always from anonymous commenters on blogs. The four phrases I list above came this morning out of the mouths of two women that I work with and like.

For me, hearing this and not judging but being mindful and compassionate is…um…difficult. It’s one thing to fear the painful death that results from drinking Coke while you eat Pop Rocks. It’s another thing altogether to honestly believe that the newly elected President is he who will come to Earth to challenge Christ and bring about the end of days.

The compassion part isn’t too hard. As I said before, these are people I like. Watching them be possessed by such an intense level of fear and ignorance is hard and I do sincerely hope that they will be free someday. Still, it’s hard to not feel frustration with someone who buys into any old piece of nonsense they receive in an email or from FOX News. It feels like the emotion that bubbles up causing you to want to slap someone who is hysterical – which is wrong, too.

But I do feel that there is great value in remaining non-judgmental about the situation. If nothing else, we can be examples. I just don’t want to be an example who allows hatred to spread because I was busy being mindful.

So what have I learned?

I always used to think that I had a pretty bad attitude. That hatred was part of my general makeup. I certainly used the word enough. I “hated” disco and brussel sprouts and reality shows and “that smell” or “that fucking guy”. Looking back now, I see that I never really hated anyone or anything. I just used the word incorrectly. Not a right view issue but a right speech issue.

Some people live to bathe in hatred. Their hatred of a person or an idea gives them a sense of purpose and “proof” that they are on the right side of things.

In the big scheme of things though, does it really matter if it’s disco or the Antichrist? View or speech? Aren’t I, via my concern rather than hatred, giving myself a sense of purpose and “proving” that I’m on the right side of things?

Finding Center

Well, today has been weird. I’ve found myself flying back and forth between extremes of anger and elation, cruelty and compassion – basically, who I’ve been and who I’d like to be. I assume that what I’m doing is finding a middle ground where I can be comfortable in my practice, A place where I can bend without breaking. That would be handy.

I ended the day on what I can only assume was some sort of test. I feel like I’ve been getting a lot of those lately.

The office of mayor in our little town is up for for election this year. Our local public access channel has been running a tape of the debates between the two candidates every night and tonight I got a chance to watch it. Now, I’d had my opinions about one of the gentlemen running and why he was, shall we say, ill-equipped to serve as mayor but watching him on television tonight really hit the point home. The man is not bright and I’m being nice. Really, really, REALLY nice.

Now, I’m trying to be more compassionate towards others. I’m trying to feel love for everyone and I really feel that not calling someone an idiot is a big step in that direction. (If you knew me, you’d think it was a giant leap.) But here’s the thing: what if the person in question really is an idiot? What if they’re as dumb as a small paper bag half full of used matches? And what if the braniac in question wants to run your town and has a fair chance of winning?

You meditate, right? That’s where I’m headed right now.