No Compassion For You!!

I first took the five precepts in October of last year. I attended no official ceremony, I took them quietly and to myself while attending the Dalai Lama’s talk on “Atisha’s Lamp for the Path to Enlightenment”.

The fact that my vows were not officially recognized by anyone does not lessen those vows for me. As far as I’m concerned, I’m still a Buddhist even though no one has told me so. However, if a group of people wanted to tell me that I was not really a Buddhist because they didn’t recognize me as such, I think I’d have a problem with that.

Last month in California, a large number of religious fanatics (many of whom were not from California) convinced their followers, along with a number of other general bigots, to pass a measure banning same-sex marriages, after the state Supreme Court had already ruled them constitutional. In other words, a group of people told the state that it was not allowed to allow people of the same sex to be married. Now, these same bigoted fanatics want to tell people who have already been married under the law that they may no longer consider themselves married.

I’m not gay and am married to a wonderful person of the opposite sex. Not only do I not think that two people should only be allowed to marry if they are straight, I think it’s wrong for anyone else to tell people who they can and can’t marry. Why? Because who someone else marries is none of anyone else’s business.

No, it does not matter whether or not your religion says it’s wrong for two people of the same sex to marry. Not one bit. Why? Because your religion does not govern this country. NOBODY’S religion governs this country.

Let’s suppose for the sake of this argument forced on us by fanatical bigots that a god – let’s choose the Christian version of god – both exists and says that people of the same sex should not be allowed to marry. That has absolutely nothing to do with the same-sex marriages that California and a few other states have allowed. None of these states are saying that Christian wedding ceremonies, Muslim wedding ceremonies, Jewish wedding ceremonies or any other particular religion’s wedding ceremonies have to be open to homosexuals. The states are allowing civil ceremonies to be open – not just to heterosexuals or homosexuals or any one particular group but to everyone. That is something that a state has the right to do, regardless of how particular religious groups or even all religious groups feel about it.

I’m going to say this as clearly as possible: Nobody’s version of god has jurisdiction over civil wedding ceremonies.

Of course, I try to make this blog about my particular journey through Buddhism, as opposed to my general soapbox about everything. So here’s where my issues in Buddhism come up.

In Buddhism, we are taught to have compassion for everyone. That the “wrong” actions of people are guided by their ignorance and are part of the suffering we all endure. This is one of the few points where I have to differ from the Buddha’s teachings. I’m just going to say it so I’m asking my fellow Buddhists to prepare and – frankly – chill the fuck out.

I just don’t believe that all people deserve compassion. As a matter of fact, I believe that some people not getting compassion is simply the karma they have created for themselves by their actions.

Sure, I could say “yes, of course, compassion – I have complete compassion for people who want to force others to live life their way. I have absolute compassion for the Chinese government even though their treatment of the people of Tibet amounts to genocide. I have complete compassion for parents who kill their own children. I have total and unrelenting passion for politicians who put their constituents in harm’s way in the name of money.”

Hell, I could just pretend that I believe that Jesus is the son of God sent to earth to save us from sin. Or I could pretend that I believe that martyring myself in Allah’s name will get me 72 virgins when I arrive in paradise. Or I could pretend that I believe that eating Pop Rocks and drinking Coke at the same time will make my stomach explode. But I don’t pretend any of those thins. Why? Because they very simply don’t make any sense.

And that’s where I stand with compassion for people who make specific efforts to hurt other people. Do I hope they stop? Yes. Do I hope they change from persecutors to helpers – maybe even Bodhisattvas? You bet. Do I have compassion for them? I gotta say, not so much.

So what have I learned?

I’ve learned that as much as I have found the Buddha’s teaching to be helpful with my life, some things just don’t fly for me. (Someday I’ll tell you how I feel about reincarnation.) But I don’t feel that it is wrong for me to feel the way I do or even to question those teachings. In fact, I believe that questioning the Buddha’s teachings is exactly what I’m supposed to do. The Buddha himself said that we should not just believe him because he said so. That we should examine everything for ourselves. That’s what I’m doing here.

And so I continue to meditate. Sometimes to find answers but mostly just to calm the mind. To let my lack of compassion downshift to a dull roar.